Friend: If I had a son there're only 2 things I'd do for him - Get him a car, and make him take guitar lessons. I'd say, "Son, don't ask why, you'll thank me later."

Me: If I had a daughter she's not going anywhere near your son.

Rampant Caries Guy

19 year old patient with rampant caries: Uh Doctor, my case hor, can spread or not?

Me: Yes if we don't do the fillings the decay will get worse.

Patient: No, I mean like, can spread to my girlfriend or not?

Me: Er... yes, depending on what you 2 are doing, the bacteria can be transmitted from mouth to mouth..... Mouth to any place else is fine.

Day in the life of Mario

Maybe Luigi would have better luck. Lol.

Point A to point B

People who have the misfortune of seeing me enough should be familiar with my transport rants. For the record I F**KING HATE taking public transport. (wow I sound F**king angry)

Maybe it's because working necessitates my taking of the MRT at the rush hour, when my fellow displeasured commuters instinctively barge in as soon as the train doors open, much like the Orcs invading Helm's Deep in LOTR.

The faces from within look just as grim as Aragorn and Gimly (especially Gimly) as they brace themselves for the impending onslaught.

People alighting clash harshly against the unrelenting torrents of working class hell bent on finding a seat.

Haven't you folks seen the pregnant woman looming over the middle-aged aunty, glaring at the "Please give up this seat to...." sign, whilst a mental exchange over who has more right to the seat ensues?

Sometimes the seats are just a little too small for some commuters, but they strangely don't notice it. Once Jabba the Hutt attempted to fit beside me. Plus he was wet, either from the rain, or physical activity or both. There was a real life, modern day application of diffusion. I felt violated.

And so I pine about the state of public transport. I have a friend in the Land Transport Authority who doesn't take me seriously. I think it's because he drives.

YeeHau puts it aptly. I'm like the edentulous guy who complains about dentures because I can't afford Implants.

And I really think I'd be a lot happier with the material cravings that so many moralists frown upon. Money won't buy happiness, but you can definitely make yourself a lot more comfortable.


* * *

(Oei Tham, get SMRT to get rid of seats in peak hour trains leh! Lots of bastards 不顾一切 rush for seats like dun sit will die. Maybe just the first and last cabin with seats so the pregnant and pseudo-elderly can fight among themselves. More standing capacity for the rest of us is good too!)

Line Dinner @ Hooters

Trust

I feel extremely insulted when patients think I lie to them.
Worse still when they ask me a question when they already have an answer from someone else. Then there's a sense of attempted ambush.

More and more, being in healthcare makes me feel like a prostitute.

We're obliged to go all out to please, and we really try.
My friends charge so little I think they're cheap. (I don't charge at all)
Customers think our advice is worthless.
Customers tell us to do stuff that they saw on the internet.
Customers tell us they won't pay since we didn't reproduce what they saw exactly.
Customers think they have the right to screw us.
We do our best and the customers make weird faces and weirder noises.
They want us stop every 3 minutes to get the bang for their buck.
Customers can complain that they aren't satisfied afterwards and start bargaining and haggling.
Some of my co-workers work all night and see many customers.
Some of my co-workers work all night and have no customers.
Some customers are dirty, dysfunctional people.
Some are just lonely and need some TLC.
They came to me because they didn't go far enough in life to afford better.
I'm always thinking of leaving this profession.
Infectious and blood-borne diseases are occupational hazards.
My Pimp doesn't let me work for someone else.
My Pimp docks my takings if I argue with him.
My Pimp says I owe him money and wants a huge payout if I want to leave.
My Pimp screws me from time to time.
And face it, my Pimp doesn't pay me well to begin with.
I don't switch jobs because I think I can't do anything else.

I'm tired. My back hurts when I bend down. I'm told I'm wrong because www.internet.com says otherwise. I'm young and inexperienced. I graduated from a third rate university.
Dentists charge too much. Talk should be free, not just cheap. Dentists should be paid in gratitude and not cash. Dentists should be satisfied with rice on our plates and water in our cups. We worked our socks off so we can serve the public when we're not traveling on the trains that conveniently pass the rented shelter that we share with Illegal immigrants.

This whore just needs a break from mistrust and sneaky FONs waiting to pounce on my first verbal gaffe. I'll be thinking of that when I blow out the 26 candles this Dec.

And hoping against hope that miracles do happen.

Where the Hell is Matt (Part deux)

Insanely envious of this guy. Looks like he had loads of fun doing the second video as well.

Long Island Tea

Made Long Island Iced Tea for the family to sample based on the following recipe:

1 part Absolut Vodka
1 part Sauza Tequila
1 part Bacardi Rum
1 part Bombay Sapphire
1 part Cointreau
2 parts Coca-Cola

All you A.A. friends of mine should come one day and rate my mix. :) Word of caution - It is POTENT!


(Left: The Salient ingredients of L.I.T.)

Occupational Hazard

Dakota Fanning's transition from Class III to Class I incisal relationship.

The Donkey, the Foal, and the Farmer. A Children's Bedtime Story.

Farmer Dick had a farm, and on that farm he had a Donkey.

Every morning, Farmer Dick would lovingly caress the Donkey's neck, scratch its ears, and feed it with juicy Fuji apples from the Tree of Rewards. With time, the Donkey grew fat, lazy and useless, but for reasons known only to himself, Farmer Dick persisted in his routine, giving Donkey more apples as its girth expanded.

One day, Jockey Bond came by. He had with him an offspring of a Champion racecourse stallion, at this time a mere foal separated from its mother. This foal would one day gallop to glory, he promised. But it was still young, and so Jockey Bond would like Farmer Dick to take care of the young horse for the next 4 years.

Unbeknown to Jockey Bond, Farmer Dick saw the arrival of the Foal as a source of free labour. Everyday, he persisted in his tender loving care towards his Donkey, and because he was but a temporary caretaker of the Foal, he would crack the Whip of Slavery and force it to pull carts and jump through meaningless hoops. At the end of each day the Foal shared the same swill that the swine had. The Foal was malnourished, and growth was stunted. And although the swill left a lingering bitter taste, it ate just enough to survive.

At dusk, exhausted as the sun set, the Foal watched in poignant disbelief as the obese, repugnant Donkey munched on the sweet, crunchy, apples. The Foal was infinitely more productive than the Donkey, yet the rewards went to Donkey.

It decided that enough was enough, and put in less effort in the tasks Farmer Dick gave him. The Farmer threatened the Foal with less swill, and the Foal, though facing even more hungry nights, refused to buckle.

* * *

The above may sound exceedingly dumb and irrelevant, but it is in some ways a parallel to work. Sadly, this story does not have a happy ending. Yet.

When you can quantify and compare the value of work done between 2 people, and insist on rewarding the less qualified clown (who churns out less work) more, simply because the bugger has been there for 20 years, then think about what it does for workplace morale and ethic.

Would you buy mediocre tasting bread from the guy who's been at it for 20 years, or the better tasting one from the new guy, assuming costs and health standards being equal? In a free market those 20 years of experience don't count if you can't deliver a better product. You'd have to sell your bread for less.

The message some employers send is clear - When under Stupid Dicks, it pays (more) to be a useless ass. It baffles and defies logic, and I hope some sage would enlighten me as to why this is so.

Love to hear your comments and criticisms :)

On Ken Heebner...

A really inspiring article I read in this week's Fortune Magazine.

IDEM Thank you dinner at LaFondue@Dempsey

Funny MadTV spoof

Subprime woes on Sesame Street. Enjoy :)

(Very) Happy Hour(s) @ Morton's, Mandarin Oriental

Was at Morton's with Bran, Charles, Yonghe and Weisong. Martini's go for $12+ each during happy hour, which starts at 5pm and wraps up at 7.
Complimentary steak sandwiches (which are FANTASTIC) are served by waiters making their way around tables.

Flavours we tried include:

• Chocolate (similar to chocolate milk, but the chocolate frosting lining the glass was a nice touch)
• Apple (left, sour green-apple in cinnamon/salt rimmed glass)
• Lychee (nice sweet tropical fruity taste with 2 lychees inside)
• Cosmopolitan (tastes like cough syrup)

2 and a half Martinis pretty much left me at the border of inebriation. But it's true, sobriety is over-rated.

(Bran, after 1 Martini too many)

Lunch @ Alexandra Food Market

My impending departure from ACS(I) gave me a good excuse roam the vicinity for lunch. Today's pick was Alexandra Village food market.


I think it was Tiong who previously ranted and raved about how good Depot Road Zhen Shan Mei Claypot Laksa was. Usually the queue stretches from the market for a good distance, but thankfully I was early (just how early I won't say) and avoided the hordes of Laksa-craving office workers.

Boiling Laksa was served. I made the mistake of adding chilli (see above) and was bathed in my own perspiration from the combination of a scorched tongue, burning gut and sweltering tropical heat. Nevertheless it's one of the better Laksa's I've tried.

The stall opens at 1030am and closes mid-afternoon at 330 pm. So definitely a no-no for dinner.

A stall away, a vendor sells self-brewed Grass-Jelly drink and dessert variants. The punishingly warm weather and lunch made a try almost obligatory.

I had the Grass-Jelly Longan dessert, and though not the most special, it provided a refreshing and soothing calm. Or maybe I was less appreciative and discerning because the Laksa had caused me transient dysgeusia. Either way, it complemented lunch fantastically.

Top 10 forgotten spots of paradise

.....And the winner is:

1. Tristan da Cunha

"Officially the world's remotest island, Tristan da Cunha rises out from the South Atlantic Ocean like a prehistoric volcano. Comprised of several uninhabited islands, one inaccessible island and the Nightingale Islands, this archipelago is like the lost world."

I did a little reading and research on the net and found Tristan da Cunha in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Definitely a contender for the most inaccessible place in the world.

Local inhabitants live by the sea and beside the majestic volcano that rises into the clouds.

Some other tuxedo-clad natives by the coastline.

[Complete results]

Surabaya Day 3: Mount Bromo

We finished with the handing out of IDEM brochures midway through the second day and proceeded to plan for our remaining hours.

We found this:

"Mount Bromo also Gunung Bromo, located in the Tengger Caldera, is one of the most popular tourist attractions in East Java, Indonesia. It is an active volcano and part of the Tengger massif, and even though at 2329 meters it is not the highest peak of the massif, it is the most well known."




Travel and a tour of the region was provided for by Haryono Travels at a fee of 360,000 Rp or ~SGD$57 per person.

The 4 hour drive southwards started at midnight. Our ride was comfortable with seats that we could recline completely to an impressive horizontal. I lost consciousness before we started and awoke shortly before we arrived.

Closer up the mountain, at the resort, the air was still, fresh and suprisingly cold. We knew it would be around 5 degrees celsius, but overestimated our tolerance for the chill. This was despite my 2 T shirts, 1 sweater, and borrowed jacket.

The remaining ride up to the 2,329 metre peak of Mt. Bromo, to the viewing gallery, was continued by Jeep.

We were early, and froze our asses off, waiting almost an hour for sunrise.

Also, the gallery was getting crowded, tourists and locals alike swarming the area and snapping away in the pre-dawn darkness.

Being blinded by multiple flashes from a sea of
cameras was particularly annoying.

Also at the viewing gallery the Tengger Caldera (where smoke is emerging from) can be spotted.

Next up the jeep took us to down to the Caldera itself.

We dismounted far beyond the temple and trudged in (pumice- like) ash towards the crater. Along the way locals peddled horse rides up for a mere 5,000Rp. We politely declined offers that came our way and obstinately ascended.

And after all the climing in ash, we arrived at the famed 247 steps up.

Tired, hungry, but finally staring into the mouth of Tenggar Caldera.

Recommended Reading

A semi-sci-fi modern day love story, soon to be a motion picture starring Eric Bana and Rachael McAdams.

I Caved

Lust got the better of me that day.
It was a moment of weakness, and I walked out, $409 poorer, weighed down with guilt.


But watching Lost in all its deserved 22" of 8 bit coloured glory, almost justifies the hasty, deplorable purchase made in the final hour of IT Show Mayhem.

Even the stinging reproach from my parents later could not undermine the fact that I now had the best instrument in my limited financial prowess to watch the movies and videos I so love.

It is pure beauty. And I am the beholder.

DotA

Talking to patient @ ACS

Me: Any intention to get braces done?

Patient: Huh? Bracers? No lah, unless I playing strength Hero and I'm sure I won't die early game. (Patient referring to arm armour in DOTA, on right)

He was deliberately trying to be funny, but I wasn't in a particularly jovial mood and replied with a low grunt, supressing the not-so-nice words forming in my mind.

I found out why they kept making DotA references. I spotted this poster in its full-coloured A4 glory, blazoned on a piller in the canteen.

So here I am blogging at 10:25am in the school hols, F.I.R. blaring in the background, my entire class of patients deciding not to come because, as they so accurately put it - They're training for competitions.

School seems like such a foreign place these days.

This cracked me up so much I'm sure the students outside my mobile heard me. Enjoy.

Letting go

Helped my parents clean out the storeroom.

There were the old black and white photographs of my gruff-looking grandparents, old german engineering magazines that my dad brought back from his overseas attachment in the 70's.
Then there were my things-

The badass supersoaker that was my weapon of choice against friends in the swimming pool. I was like 7? spraying wavering streams of chlorinated water with my unwieldly grasp.

The Sega Megadrive that was my reward in Primary 3 for doing well in the mid year exams, but would later cause my downfall :)

It was a chronological mess that hit me with waves of nostalgia. They're worthless now, but irreplaceable snapshots of my life from a different day and age.

My dad was reluctant to discard the dusty box of German magazines. " I might need them later," he tried to convince the rest of us, albeit unsuccessfully. "I'll get rid of them when I retire," he promised.

I looked at the relics from my past and decided they had to go. Granted they reminded me of long gone youth and innocence, but my childhood has already made me who I am, and clinging on, reminiscing old days, seems rather counter productive when I should be looking ahead. People are worth remembering, these things are not.

Because really, those memories were good, but I want better ones in time to come.

I'm doing future Sat morning duties with the worst ever combination of colleagues. To prove my point I told 2 guys the above statement and both guessed the 2 names in an instant.

I wonder who planned the revised schedule.
Was it da-Fairy? Who hates my guts for dissenting against her almighty will?
Or the black widow, who smiles at Kenneth and Charles but wags the disapproving finger in my direction.
Or Cruel Chance, punishing me for being in blissful atas schools with penance most apt, forcing me into assiduous slavery.

Someone out there hates my life a lot more than me.

Lydia Piano Version

To Zanarkand from Final Fantasy X

Guess who's playing :)

Had a patient called Wei Yi today.

Me: Hi, you are Wei Yi rite?

WY: Uh. Ya.

Waiting friends: (With gusto) Baby, 你就是我的唯一...... (Massive Laughter)

(P.S. Wei yi is the title of a certain Wang Lee Hom Song)

* * *

Waiting Student 1: 2 Men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducked.

Waiting Student 2 (From China): Huh?

Waiting Student 1: (repeat....) 3rd man ducked, the 4th man ducked, the 5th man goose. Geddit?

Waiting Student 2: (Puzzled as hell but trying to look intelligent)

Waiting Student 3: Oh my god, you're so lame i can't see your legs.

Me: (thinking) Sheesh, I hope I wasn't this retarded when I was 15.....

Some old friends came over to my place. One of them asked about my trip to Scandinavia with the intention of going.

Dug out some old videos, photos etc. of the September '06 trip and took a stroll down memory lane. I wonder when, if ever, I will revisit the Nordic states and once again peer into the azure waters of the fjords of Norway, or steal wistful glimpses at those long unending legs of models outside nightclubs :)

Europe is often romanticised, some say there is an undeserving hype. But having been there once, I have been seduced.

Even if a Lumpar Meal costs S$17.66.

Pay Rise!

The much talked-about, long awaited pay hike is finally in effect.
Friends in NHG don't fret. Yours should be coming lah.
In any case yr Dec bonus already worth 10 months of our difference in salary :(

More salt for the old gangrenous wounds

Brother: Eh, how much do u get paid in an hour?

Me: [grumble, stoopid mental sums] uh, about $20?

Brother: Hah! My fren in army getting paid $30 an hour per student to teach piano to grade 1 students! And he doesn't need to pay income tax some more. Hah. Your pay damn low sia.

Me: Wah, that's almost double what my female colleagues earn.

Brother: [smugness permeating] Wah, u all damn loser sia.

New Theme for the New Year

Decided to make my working environment more pleasant for myself and patients alike.
For one I will be bringing my spare speakers over and playing smooth, soothing music (Lounge/ Bossa Nova etc. An example:

Tom Jobim

1. Thinking of placing some magazines for my waiting area and Tien Tien's imported female magazines spring to mind. So does the ominous vision of being censured by the school authorities and my bosses at HPB.
2. Toying with the idea of having dimmed lights like some of the town practices (and pubs). May either look classy or sleazy with really contrasting repercussions.

Any suggestions pls add comment!

Le Fort I Surgery

Something to show patients when explaining orthognathic surgery: